Unique Ways of Not Getting a Job in 2025

Looking but not looking for a job
Looking but not looking for a job

Based on Yesterday’s post I thought I might lighten the mood a little and let AI write my post for the day (well I might have, I will leave you to Guess).

1. Use AI to Write Your Cover Letter… and Forget to Edit It

Why bother with personal effort when ChatGPT-7 can churn out a generic masterpiece? Just don’t be surprised when your cover letter starts with “Dear [Hiring Manager’s Actual Name Here]” or ends with “I look forward to working at [Insert Company]”. Bonus points if it includes the phrase “As an AI language model, I don’t have personal experiences, but…”

2. Apply for Jobs That Don’t Exist

In the age of deepfakes and AI-generated scams, you might as well shoot your resume into the void. That “Remote Astronaut for Tesla Moon Base” posting? Probably not real. Or you could go one step further and create a job listing and post that with your resume to the hiring manager. Because of course, if you have the original job description, it must exist right? If nothing else it is worth it for a laugh.

3. Ensure Your Resume Is a Cryptic Puzzle

  • Use a funky, unreadable font like Comic Sans or Wingdings.
  • Replace traditional sections with QR codes linking to your Instagram selfies.
  • Make your work experience an AI-generated poem:
    “I synergized KPIs with agile grace, / Managed deliverables at warp speed pace…”

4. Master the Art of Being “Too Honest”

When asked in an interview, “What’s your biggest weakness?”, avoid cliches like “I care too much”. Instead, try:

  • “I tend to steal office supplies.”
  • “I get irrationally angry when people breathe near me.”
  • “I applied here as a dare.”
  • “I hear everyday is a sick day, so can I claim those in advance?”

5. Only Show Up for Virtual Interviews as a Deepfake

Why bother looking professional when you can be a floating Shrek head instead? Bonus if you lip-sync everything slightly out of sync.

6. Make Your LinkedIn Profile a Social Experiment

Instead of skills like “Team Management” or “Python Programming,” list:

  • “Professional Netflix Binger”
  • “Master of Avoiding Eye Contact on Zoom”
  • “Once Successfully Parallel Parked on the First Try”
  • “Toaster Ninja”

Recruiters love a bit of personality! Just not this much.

7. Invent an AI Excuse Generator for Ghosting Recruiters

Set up an automated response bot that replies with:

  • “Sorry, I have transcended the need for employment.”
  • “I was hired by a secret underground organization. NDA applies.”
  • “I am currently stuck in a time loop and will respond in 2032.”
  • “I am still looking for the correct gender button but it seems you’ve gone all 2025 on me”
Not Disclosed at  | 07874827971 | inferno@mm0zif.radio | Website |  + posts

Marcus, has been involved in Internet applications since the dawn of time, he has a massive interest in Scifi and fantasy novels, cooking, Amateur Radio and the Weather as well as many other subjects. Marcus has a Doctorate in Musicology, and is a lifetime scholar. If Marcus doesn't know the answer he will definitely find it!